Emotionally focused therapy was developed by psychologist, Susan Johnson, PhD. This therapy is based on attachment needs.  Scientific research show us expressing emotions in a healthy way is good for emotional wellbeing.

If you were lucky, your parents paid  attention to your emotional needs most of the time and you feel secure. Exploring the outside world is an exciting adventure. You are able to face stressful situations with more ease and confidence. 

Let’s say that your emotional needs were unfortunately  mostly  ignored or overlooked growing up. You find yourself more anxious or avoidant as an adult.   Either you either long for close connection with  others  to feel okay about yourself or you avoid emotional intimacy with others and become more self reliant. Throughout adulthood, anxiously attached and avoidantly attached people have difficulty coping with stress and struggle to understand their own feelings and the feelings of others.

People feel invisible, unseen and alone. They may feel abandoned,  rejected and unloved. Shameful feelings overwhelm you and you avoid asking for something.  People say they don’t want to be a bother.  They may feel afraid and trapped. Pretending you’re okay when you’re not is common.

Some people are overly sensitive to criticism or they deny their feelings althogether .  You freeze, fight or flee when feeling unsafe.  The truth of the matter is that the best way to manage feelings is to allow yourself to feel them, understand them and listen to what they are telling you.

Emotionally focused therapy can help you make sense of yourself and realize that you are not alone.  Emotionally Focused Therapy works well with individuals as well as couple therapy.  With a better understanding of yourself, you can move forward in a clearer more productive way that makes you feel good. s